Move over, Tony Stark! Bollywood has its own superheroes in place! Click to get more classified info…
Indian Marvel fans (or just any superhero lovers!), rejoice! Marvel is releasing the sequel to the monster hit, The Avengers, and the penultimate entry in the Phase 2 of Marvel Cinematic Universe, in India a week before its US release.
Age of Ultron has been garnering highly positive reviews during its early screenings, though there were murmurs that the films hasn’t lived up to benchmark set by the original film. But the latter comment is definitely not going to stop the die-hard fans (like me, for instance!) for scampering for tickets this weekend (the movie is surely going to be better than Thor: The Dark World or its unofficial title, The Exorcism of Natalie Portman!).
However, while we throng on to cinema halls to catch the glimpse of Tony Stark and Bruce Banner lugging it out with Ultron, let’s take a moment and not forget that we have our own superheroes who can easily give these foreign imports a run for their money, or even outclass them!
So if S.H.I.E.L.D. ever decides to start an Indian franchise of Avengers, let’s give them some nice hints as to whom to recruit!
Shaktimaan
Who is he: Every team needs a leader – A Captain America. We have Shaktimaan – The Indian equivalent of Superman, who can basically do anything…if that fits under our budget!
Bio: A yogi who attains powers through meditation, so that he can destroy the ultimate evil plaguing the world! His alter ego, Pandit Gangadhar Vidyadhar Mayadhar Omkarnath Shastri, is a buck-toothed timid photographer at Aaj Ki Aawaz. (Any resemblance to Clark Kent or Peter Parker is purely coincidental!)
Superpowers: He can fly, he can become invisible, he can pass through solid objects, he can throw beams of fire and ice, he can read minds…Basically, he is X-Men, Fantastic Four, The Avengers, Justice League, Inhumans…all rolled into one!
His Kryptonite: Geeta Vishwas, the reporter at Aaj Ki Aawaz (Again…any resemblance to Lois Lane is purely coincidental!)
Proof of his existence:
Toofan
Who is he: A revenge-seeking vigilante, in the mould of Daredevil and Green Arrow/Hawkeye, who is burdened with the responsibility of carrying a trashy movie.
Bio: After his father is killed by a dacoit, he prays to God (who only listens to the ’80s heroes and the serial actors!), who grants him increased strength and other assorted powers. Basically, he is just Amitabh Bachchan of the ’80s!
Superpowers: Superhuman strength, ability to summon storms and an unerring sense of accuracy! He has his own entry song as well!
His Kryptonite: His bumbling long-lost identical twin brother.
Proof of his existence:
G.One
Who is he: An android or a physical manifestation of a video-game character…what exactly he is, I am not sure…Basically, he can give tough competition to Iron Man and Vision. First seen in a movie, which is strangely named after its villain!
Bio: Created by videogame programmer, Shekhar Subramaniam, and brought to life by his son, G.One is a robot…err…android…err…forget it, he is someone trying to adjust to normal human life, while protecting the family of his deceased creator,
Superpowers: He can emanate force-fields. He can jump from one train compartment to the other, without waiting for the platform to arrive (Mumbaikars would really want to learn that). He is also very powerful, (though not as much as Ra.One), and can break into a jig if the screenplay demands!
His Kryptonite: Irritating kids!
Proof of his existence:
Krrish
Who is he: The son of the eminent scientist, Rohit Mehra, Krrish gains superpowers by the generosity of an alien his father was friends with.
Bio: Krrish was Krishna, who was brought up and home-schooled by his grandmother. He lost his mother at an early age. He already has super-powers when he was born. While following his ladylove back to Singapore, he becomes Krrish to protect his identity, while protecting people in a freak circus fire.
Superpowers: He can jump to great heights, has super-strength and can swim at fast speeds. By the climax of Krrish 3 (by the way, did I miss Krrish 2?), he can fly as well! And, he had also the ability to charm emotionless mutants!
His Kryptonite: Like any Indian superhero, target his family and he will slow down!
Proof of his existence:
Mr. India
Who is he: The man who can turn invisible by turning the knob on a gadget, his father has made. Easily, the most loved superhero who even managed to destroy the most evil villain of all time, Mogambo!
Bio: Arun Verma is the son of a scientist who was killed by Mogambo’s henchmen. He has a orphanage filled with loveable kids, but is troubled by land-grabbers. Based on a letter received from his father, he finds a gadget who renders him invisible. Also, he has the hots for a nosy female reporter (why do heroines in superhero films have to be a reporter?).
Superpowers: He can turn invisible!
His Kryptonite: Any kid knows this! Red light!
Proof of his existence:
Chulbul Pandey
Who is he: If Hulk ever had a worthy opponent, it would be Chulbul Pandey!
Bio: A goodhearted corrupt policeman (yup, there is something like that!) who is a terror to the villains, but a loving husband to Sonakshi Sinha, and has an aversion for clothes!
Superpowers: Bruce Banner needed gamma radiation to be Hulk; Chulbul Pandey doesn’t need all that hogwash to be a superhero! he can defeat an army of villains without batting an eyelid and his muscles can tear off his clothes by themselves, by triggering a bad memory! Also, he has this strange power to wiggle his belt without touching it!
His Kryptonite: He is not exactly a team player! Also, if you have to induct him in your team, you have to pay him something ‘únder the table’…
Proof of his existence:
Every superhero team needs to have a female member to bind them together (Unless they are gay, what else will inspire these big-headed, egoistic heroes to stick to each other?). The Avengers have Black Widow, Scarlet Witch and later, Captain Marvel will also be joining them. Justice League has Wonder Woman. Since there is a dearth of proper female superheroes in Bollywood, feminists please note, we will go with…
Sonia
Who is she: Step aside, Drona! Sonia happens to be the most kick-ass element in your drab movie!
Bio: She belongs to a clan of bodyguards who is given the arduous task of protecting boring superheroes!
Superpowers: She can literally kick ass!
Her Kryptonite: Her master…If any superhero made me sleep, it would be Drona! Congrats Abhishek Bachchan, not even Ben Affleck’s Daredevil managed to do that!
Proof of her valor:
And of course, every superhero team needs a Nick Fury to pout out exposition, manage PR, handle all government red-tape and basically, just look bad-ass without doing much. In India, we find only one man eligible for that job…
ACP Pradyuman
Finally, we also a need an immensely powerful villain to offer a tough competition to all these superheroes. For Marvel it was Ultron. In India, there is one and only…
Enthiran
Why? ‘Cos he is played by Rajinikanth! And everyone knows Rajinikanth can neither be created or destroyed, unless he decides to do so himself! He even has his army of robots! And we could call the movie Age of Enthiran!
Got any other superheroes in mind! Please share their bios here…